we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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