He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We had sex on a dog bed..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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