I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
