i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
