i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
