He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
