as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I need a burrito and a hug.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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