u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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