Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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