Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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