people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
