My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
false alarm. still invincible.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My bed smells like the plague
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
