So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
