To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
