oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
