Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
