Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
