Porn is love you can see.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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