i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
