so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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