If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
