I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
