Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
