areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
