Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
