So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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