i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
