That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize