You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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