Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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