i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
