Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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