The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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