every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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