the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
