do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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