I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
