Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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