I wanna bring you to show and tell
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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