Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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