i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
