Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
