Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
