oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
