It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
