told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
