Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
