Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
