He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
