so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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