u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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