i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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