just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
