I can tuck mytits in my pants
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
