They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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