this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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