Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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