I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
