How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I look better un-naked...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
