im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bring money and cleavage
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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