Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
