Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
