How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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