DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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