she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
