Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
