I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
