i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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