He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize