rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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