You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
