Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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