She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
