My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
