Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
