the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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