Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
