goodnight i made you a song goodbye
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
