Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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