I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want to make out with him forever
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
