i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
